The Constant Thing
Isn't the whole point
that before something happens
we were going to live a different life?
Some might call this the butterfly effect
while others roll their eyes and say, "duh,"
and maybe it just dawned on you
to get up and do literally anything else
but read this poem
in order to prove you control what changes
your life, and also (and it's okay to admit this)
you kind of really liked who you were
before you started reading this poem
and you'd rather stick to the way of things,
a "don't rock the boat" type situation,
"if it ain't broke don't fix it",
sticks and stones can break your bones
but words are confined to this poem
you are definitely not reading,
and yet I hope you have fallen in love
-- at some point, with something --
and wasn't your life going to be different
before that happened?
Like most people I have my routines,
habits,
practices,
the consistent prayers
I bow to like brewing coffee or taking a jog
amidst the bleeding, brightening sky
as it dawns on me
(like an irresistible pun)
that right now because of right before
I am at least the slightest bit different,
will in fact never be the same again,
and yet I hope that because I brew coffee
at the same time, in the same way each morning
that something in me always remains the same,
if only to validate and/or somewhat rationally explain
my minor and beloved caffeine addiction,
but also because wouldn't that mean the night
you said you loved me,
even if that was also the night I left you,
I was and still am the same person who said
I love you too,
and now I ask myself how many loose coins
does it take for the person who left
to never come back?
How do we know
the amount we must pay in change?