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Not a Broken Heart

Do they say “from the bottom of my heart”

to convey depth?

If so that’s sweet,

thoughtful intention’s kiss as a metaphor,

but it also sounds like a whole lot of heart

decided to strategically avoid the situation,

which is, you know, concerning,

so I’m sending this message from the top

and the bottom

and all the sides of my heart,

I’m sending this message because

the oldest words of love I know

are caveman grunts carved into stone

and I’ve always wanted to rewrite the history

of saying “my heart was broken”

because I don’t believe

we shatter

or crack

or get torn apart from the inside out,

because clearly there you are,

alive and saying your heart was broken,

which seems to prove it wasn’t,

which, I know, may be taking the metaphor too literally,

but from the loves of my life

and the work of my life,

which has nothing to do with my checking account

and everything to do with checking in with my heart,

and which has plunged me unimaginably deep into mystery,

I ask does your heart break

or does your heart change?

Did someone break your heart

or did you experience a change of heart?

Will your heart mend

or will your heart be changed forever?

I draw a buffalo on a cave wall

pierced by a spear and bleeding out

because we have yet to agree on a grunt

for “the big hurt thing in me” or “I fell in love”,

a grunt for “how I feel right now” or “it always happens too soon”,

and as loud as you hear your dreams

wailing out to what you lost

hear that if you fell in love

you are no longer who you were before,

you can no longer cling to your history,

so plunge instead into the strong soft of your chest,



brimming with possibility.

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