SORRY, BUT ONCE AGAIN WE’VE SCHEDULED A MEETING ON YOUR JEWISH HOLIDAY
This is an original piece published by McSweeney's Internet Tendency. It's about the disrespect major Jewish holidays still receive from many employers.
Let me try this again. My name is Ralph Northam, I am the Democratic Governor of Virginia, my wife dims the shine of my star by forbidding me to moonwalk in public, and after a series of conversations
We promised you a 100,000 seat stadium. We promised you seven home games and Big Stenography Conference glory. We promised you five-star quarterback recruit Chef Faymield. We lied, of course, but fort
Humans, it’s us, The Galactic Empire, today represented by me, First Officer of The Fifth Battalion’s Second Messenger Brigade Hoohan Swervymarsh. Yes, I am the son of Sharknod Swervymarsh, the Galact